Continuation of 11Great Signs That You're Really Listening

6. Ask Questions

Questions over time have been the best way to learn more about something. I mean there is really no other way we could get to understand things or inquire about something other than questioning. In communications, a good listener will ask thoughtful questions about your topic or idea, leading you to open up more and elaborate on the discussion.

A good example of this would be when the speaker talks to you about their work and responsibilities at Company X. You could then ask what their job functions or duties are when it comes to their department in that company. Another good example is when they discuss an issue they had been facing for a while and you ask: “Why do you think that had happened?” or “How do you think we can fix this?” These are simple, open-ended questions that engage the speaker and allow him to talk more about the details.

7. Paraphrase

A good listener would wait until the end, without interrupting, and then provide a good summary or paraphrase of what the speaker just talked about and their point of view. This shows that you accept the speaker’s perspective whether you agree with it or disagree. This in turn provides the speaker with the sense that their words and opinions are accepted and that they have your support, an extremely important feeling. Saying that you understand why they did or acted this way shows that you do not necessarily agree with their act but that you recognize what they have done.

8. Feedback (Your Opinion)

Feedback is connected to validation. It is important to provide our opinion when in a conversation, because you never know if this would spark a new idea or benefit someone in one form or another.

Nowadays, we face so many distractions that it gets really hard to completely get rid of distractions altogether. Those distractions include multitasking and social media. Multitasking could be a good thing sometimes, but it can sometimes affect you too. An example of this would be the famous texting while driving. Texting while driving is a very bad and dangerous act that some people just do not understand the seriousness of. There are many and many accidents that occur because of getting distracted by texting. This is something very simple that we can avoid and will affect society positively.

The other distraction I want to talk about is social media. We have seen a lot of teenagers and college students who just cannot sit a total of an hour studying without browsing Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the internet in general. This is another simple distraction we can discard and achieve better results. This could sometimes be the difference between passing and failing a course.

9. Provide Encouragement

Human beings feed on encouragement and motivation. These are two strong strategies to live by to lead a successful life. Let us zoom a bit on the encouragement strategy. It is always a good habit when listening to friends or others speak that you throw in encouragement phrases when they feel down. This is beneficial because when one day you are in their situation, you will find someone that will help you get up. Suitable encouragement phrases include: “I’d like to hear more,” “That is interesting,” or “Tell me more.”

10. Follow the (80% / 20% )
Rule

This rule presented here is a very practical and effective rule because it is based off logic. Did you ever wonder why we are born with two ears but only one mouth? There must be a wise reason behind that. The explanation I have is that we need to listen more than we talk and it is proven that doing so ends up creating better communication. The 80% / 20% rule is what this is all about.

A person that calls himself a good listener would know that the secret behind being a good listener is to listen approximately 80% of the time while only talking 20% of the time of the conversation. This is a very simple yet effective rule; however the problem is that we all need to implement it.

11. Interaction

Another good tactic to use as a good listener is to interact with the speaker. This could be done by simply nodding, smiling, and saying phrases like “Yeah”, “I understand what you mean”, “I see”, or perhaps “No, really?” Of course you do not say these phrases with discomfort or indicating that you do not really care about the story, you say them in an interested way to encourage the speaker to continue their story and that you are willing to listen.

Overall, listening is an important tactic to learn in order to maintain positive, mutual communications. The above are just some of the many ways you can prove to others that you are listening. More than just proving to others, you want others to treat you the same way. If you have a good listener in your life, do your best to keep them close and inform them of your appreciation. If you are still rummaging for a good listener, then wait long because the wait and search are both worth it.

Having a good listener in your life will give you a sense of comfort that you have this special someone that will always have your back and listen to what you have to say.

Do you have a good listener in your life? Tell us about what makes them so good at listening in the comments below.